Trouble brews when negative emotions are glossed over
On days when things seem to be falling apart or a project isn’t working out, how do people in your workplace react?
Do people put a smile on their faces, soldier on, and act like the dumpster fire isn’t burning? Is the challenging situation cheerfully ignored?
If so, this could be a case of toxic positivity, or glossing, which happens when people suppress and deny negative emotions.
On one hand, looking on the bright side and being optimistic can be good for your health. The benefits can include lower rates of depression, greater resistance to illness, and even a lower risk of death from cancer, a heart attack, or stroke. Being positive can help us overcome negative self-talk that can tear us down.
While there is power to positive thinking, those who are determined to look only on the bright side may be doing themselves a disservice. They aren’t doing their friends and coworkers any favors, either.
Working through negative emotions
Living in a state of toxic positivity and denying that negative emotions exist prevents a person from processing bad feelings. The long-term effect makes it difficult to overcome distress.
Suppressing negative emotions, rather than working through them, can lead to anxiety and feelings of shame or guilt. The suppressed feelings may build and result in an outburst.
Learning how to work through bad feelings, on the other hand, builds resiliency. It helps a person gain the strength to rebound and resolve the issues that brought the emotions forward.
Once the negative feelings ease, it can also be heartening to realize that you were able to work through them.
When being positive sounds dismissive
Toxic positivity can also result in an inability to respect the emotions of others. A person determined to ignore negative feelings is unlikely to be sympathetic to a coworker who is having a bad day.
Constantly telling a person to “think positive” or “look on the bright side” in the face of a letdown can make them feel like you don’t understand what they’re going through or don’t care enough to empathize.
This type of attitude can come across as uncaring and can result in the coworker not sharing problems or struggles in the future.
Overcoming toxic positivity
Working on skills that help you face and cope with negative emotions helps overcome toxic positivity. This can include mindfulness, journaling, and deep breathing.
A therapist can also offer suggestions for facing negative emotions rather than ignoring them.
When dealing with others, it can help to use phrases that show empathy for their feelings rather than denying that the negative feelings exist. This can include phrases like:
- “That’s a valid feeling. How can I help you?”
- “I am sorry to hear that.”
- “How are you feeling? I’m listening.”
- “It looks like you’re stressed.”
- “That sounds difficult. Tell me about it.”
Key to remember; Being optimistic and hopeful are great qualities that support well-being. When a positive attitude gets in the way of acknowledging and processing difficult emotions, however, it’s time to step back and take an honest look at the impact it is making.